Mars Costello/Midas/E.S./Elijah. 19. Musician and Artist. The Bear Man of the North Woods. 6'2 and slowly dying. Welcome to the Turn Up Function...
LIFE HACK: disguise your nervous breakdown as a series of jokes
So, it just hit me that all my friends are moving away and I don’t really know what to do. In the beginning of June one of my good friends, Alex, went to New Mexico for two months and is going straight to Washington state (I live in Pennsylvania so that’s not really that close…) for college and in 8 days my best friend, Evan, is also moving to Washington with him. My friends Jackson and Sierra are both going away to college in August and Todd is going away for a 10 month missions trip in October. I’m not really a social person and even though I have a lot of “acquaintances” (I guess that’s what they’re called… people I don’t really have problems with and like on some level but we aren’t close with at all), those were really all of my close friends and they’re leaving. I understand that this is what happens but I’ve been struggling with my depression as of late so I kinda just wanted to get all my feelings out on the matter. My Insomnia’s also getting worse and as much fun as staying up all night, thinking about how terrible my life feels right now is… It kinda sucks… I’ve been thinking about suicide again, which I’m used to and normally have no problem dealing with but it’s getting worse. And I’ve been drinking more which doesn’t help… I also haven’t really had a romantic relationship in a long time. I’m kinda okay with that because I’ve never been a really big fan of dating (I think I’ve only had like 2 or 3 actual relationships in like the past 5 years) and I normally just kind of hook up with people and have fun, but I guess with everyone leaving the idea of actually having a relationship sounds really good right now. I just finished High School this year and I don’t have a full time job (I have a part time one, I get about 15/20 hours a week) or a license and my mom wants to kick me out of the house so I’ve been looking at apartments locally and I don’t have enough money for any of them. I’ll probably delete this in a couple hours but I wanted to vent a little bit I guess? Idk but if you took the time to read this then thank you or whatever…
Posted on 21 July, 2014
Posted on 21 July, 2014Reblogged from sarahsewell
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